I have to admit for me, Father's Day is hard.
Those who know me would probably ask, "Why?" as my dad is in my life. How could it be hard? You don't even have kids? Not having kids is why it's hard. There are a lot of stereotypes about men when it comes to kids, such as:
- Men aren't caregivers.
- Men don't really want kids.
- Men put their careers before families.
So, shouldn't I really be celebrating not having kids?
These are stereotypes for a reason because they are not true. Before I came to faith in Jesus, I didn't want kids. I was broken myself. However, God gave me a passion for kids and youth ministry. With over a decade of serving countless families in Bent Tree's student and kids ministry, my desire to have my own children and family grew daily.
Being the only childless one in my family of 4 siblings, my parents always ask when am I having kids. Well, first I had to get married! I finally fell in love with an amazing woman and married her this past September. Ok, now we are on the right track to having kids! That is, we were until a doctor's appointment at the beginning of May when I found out the possibility of having children naturally is almost impossible due to some defects I was born with. I didn't know it for sure, but men also deal with infertility.
The thing that keeps me grounded during this time as Father's Day approaches is my faith in Jesus. I have hope in Him and trust in His timing of everything. Romans 8:28 (NIV) says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." This verse reminds me that even when things don't go according to my plan, God has a bigger purpose in mind.
While it may be challenging to understand why I am unable to have children naturally, I find hope in the fact that God has a purpose for my life and that He will guide me on the right path.
In this, I trust in God's timing. In Genesis, we learn that Abraham and Sarah waited for years to have children until they were both very old. "Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. So, Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, "After I am worn out, and my Lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?"" Genesis 18:11-12 NIV
My wife and I have decided to look into the possibility of adoption and wager what that process looks like next year. While it may be challenging to wait for the opportunity of adoption in the future, I trust in God's timing. I trust God will guide us on the right path, and we will become parents when the time is right.
Father's Day can bring up a range of emotions for those like me who are not fathers but desire to be. I pray for those men that they will not be discouraged in the waiting and the wanting. I pray they find hope and faith in Jesus. I pray for the men who have lost a child at any age. I pray for those men who are fathers that you bestow on your children a great upbringing and that you are an example of our Heavenly Father to your children on earth.
Happy Father's Day to all dads, present and future.
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